Nurture 19/20

I like the neat denouement a ‘Nurture’ post provides at the end of a year. I’m still unsure if anyone other than the writer gets much from it, but for me the catharsis warrants the writing and so here I am typing once more.

Looking back to my 2017/18 ‘Nurture’ post*, one of my reflections was that it felt like “time for me to be less brave, to pause and consolidate”. Right now that seems like a wholly naïve statement. Life doesn’t stop. You don’t get to hit pause. There’s only ever onwards, upwards, forwards. You don’t get to choose whether you’re going to need to be brave. You can only hope to be able to be when you need to be.

I’m delighted to say that the friend who was seriously ill at the end of 2017 is still here. In fact, we recently spent the day watching Edward Scissorhands and eating pizza. She’s the sort of mate you meet playing violin in an orchestra then quit to learn guitar and form your own punk band. Then travel around 32 states in America with. On a bus. She’s also living proof to me that (in the words of Alabama Worley) ‘sometimes it goes the other way too’. I deeply and sincerely wish her a 2020 that embodies that sentiment.

Still just a few months into my AHT post, at the end of 2017 I hoped to be a really good line manager. While I don’t think I have been a crap one, I do know I still have much to learn. I really like the saying ‘The best way to be trusted is to be trustworthy’ and I have tried my damndest to live up to that.

Since writing that blog I’ve gone from line managing one person to three, including our brilliant Learning Director for Maths and – as an English teacher - I’m now holding on to the premise that you grow subject experts then get the hell out of their way. I have happily appointed myself ‘Chief Road-block Remover’. I’m also trying to provide questions from my position as non-specialist that clarify thinking and shine a light on the blind spots we all have when leading amidst the maelstrom of school life.

My final reflection on that post from way back is that I think I can hold my head up high and say I’ve started to have the positive impact I hoped for. Since I picked up leadership of Key Stage 4, outcomes have improved – which fundamentally means more kids with more choices about what they can do when they leave school. What I didn’t foresee back then was the impact that individual pupils’ achievements would conversely have on me. Kristina, Anpumoli, James, Juraj, Muteeb… our kids make you feel utterly grateful to have met them and to have been even a small part of their journey. I’ve also come to appreciate more than ever before the vital component of pastoral care and I am in awe of those in my school that care for, protect, and – to a degree – parent our pupils.

This year I’m pleased that, when it has come down, to it I’ve put my school and my pupils first. I’ve done less writing for both my blog and for publications, and I’ve turned stuff down when I’ve not had time because I know that ultimately I want to just be really good at my job. This is, of course, partly selfish. Now more than ever I know I want to be a Headteacher which means a) continuing to learn my craft b) continuing to establish my impact and credibility as a school leader. I have zero desire to be a consultant, journalist, or write a book (although a doctorate at some point does appeal). The idea of leading my own school though is bloody exciting.

And so, as a decade closes its doors, it’s time to once again mark what has been and would could still be.

3 positives about 2019

1.    I’ve done things in my career that I am proud of

I spoke in front of 1700 teachers at a PiXL main meeting and to 500 teachers across a MAT in the Midlands. I got to take my husband to a Buckingham Palace garden party to say ta for my work at the DfE.

I’m chuffed to have made it on to Future Leaders and to have made it to the point in my career where I get to do training with ‘Headship’ in the title. I’m proud to sit alongside so many hardworking and dedicated people each time I go to a session.

2.    I walked 26 miles in a day

At the ripe old age of 35, I made a new best mate in Chloe (@AViewAskew). Whether dancing in night clubs in Portugal or pounding the school corridors she’s like a Duracell bunny. She also brings out the best in me – whether it’s casually walking a marathon or saying ‘Yes’ to speaking at conferences on the other side of the country. I’m ridiculously excited that she’s been appointed to a temporary AHT position leading KS3 and can’t wait to start joining the dots more closely between Years 7-11 at our school.

3.    I’ve had loads of fun

This year hasn’t turned out the way I’d planned in some ways but, you know what, it’s been a pretty exciting one. I’ve visited new places (Lisbon, Sintra, Kobe, Yokahama and Seoul). I’ve dyed my hair neon yellow. I’ve drunk too much. I’ve been on road trips and to music festivals and spa days. I’ve booked in another tattoo. I’ve laughed loads and watched my friends and family absolutely thrive.

Life is pretty good when you stop to think about it.

3 wishes for 2020

1.    I want to stop the saw-tooth of results and sustain improvements

I’ve got irons in the fire around raising pupils’ expectations of what they can achieve and what they need to do to get there. I’m excited to see where this leads.

2.    I want to do Rebecca, Fiona, and Becky proud by organising a cracking TENC20

We’ve got an ace team organising the Team English National Conference this year, but the standard these women have set will still be an almighty bar to reach.

3.    I want to grow loads and loads of vegetables

This year, I managed an impressive crop of potatoes, but my veg patch has lain woefully neglected for the most part and my corn ended up being fed to my sister’s weird chickens. Next year, I’d like to build in time to tend the cabbages, listen to the radio, and sit in my deckchair. Am I getting old? Probably. Do I care? Not one jot.

Happy New Year, all.

A big thanks to Becky Wood (@ShadyLady222) for writing her end of the decade reflective blog. It helped me realise that when you zoom out you get much needed perspective on the ups, downs, positives, and negatives of being alive. My last decade was cracking and the rubbish parts just bumps in the road. She helped me see that and to realise that 2019 was, in fact, a pretty successful twelve months after all.

*Last year, I didn’t post a ‘Nurture’ blog. Following an event that, if I’m really honest, I’m still feeling the aftershocks from, I wasn’t in the right space to be putting figurative pen to paper.