I wasn't going to blog this year. I wasn't going to blog again ever, to be honest. As I get closer to Headship the appeal of social media has waned in inverse proportion to my recognition of the vulnerability it brings. Sharing your soul with anonymous readers opens you up to misunderstanding and criticism that starts to make you wonder if it is, quite simply, worth it.
As Edu-Twitter falls, local networks have strengthened and grown which has also loosened Twitter's sway. I can gain from reading the blogs and ever-increasing Twitter threads without feeling the need to engage in the verbal sparring that comes with 'putting yourself out there'.
And yet, this blog has been birthed: its impetus a visit to a house we think we might want to buy. We weren't 'looking' to move (our house wasn't even on the market) but it jumped out at us from the pages of RightMove and has gotten us imagining a different future to the one that was unfolding before us. It therefore feels apposite to return to where I wanted to be a year ago and to set down intentions for the year ahead.
In my blog last year, I put metaphorical pen to paper to commit to my goal of becoming a Deputy Head. 7 weeks later, I'm proud to say I reached that goal. I had no idea that my aim would become reality so quickly - after a single application - but the stars truly aligned. My new school is where I undertook my PGCE Teaching Practice 16 years ago and so feels like a homecoming of sorts. It's also a school with 'good bones', centred on people, tradition, and community. Having started in September, it already feels like home and I know I will be happy there for many, many years to come.
In my last blog, written just a week after returning from maternity leave, my goal was to model happy, sustainable leadership. Starting at a new school and being keen to prove I'm 'up to the job' has undoubtedly challenged that commitment. But I'm proud to say I feel like I've stuck to it. I start early but pick up my daughter 4 days a week, leaving school by 4.30pm on all days bar one. It's not always easy, but my Head and fellow Deputy are understanding, empathetic, and hugely supportive. For that, I'm immensely grateful. It's also made easier knowing I want to do my daughter proud and teach her that, as a woman, career and family are absolutely compatible. After all, we no longer live in the 19-bloody-50s.
My final wish last year was for my brilliant husband to find his niche after moving away from his career in the music industry. Absolute legend that he is, he's followed his second passion of gaming, securing his dream job at his dream company. He's soon off to San Francisco with work and watching him thrive inspires me more than he knows. Most of all, he's a living reminder that life is far too short to not be happy. Be brave. Be persistent. Make those changes.
And so...
3 positives of 2022
1. My family
Even the most challenging day at school is no competition for 10 minutes with Matt and Hana. 15 years on as a couple, we're at our best when we spend more time together not less. Our daughter is a joy and Matt is a better dad than I could possibly have imagined when we first flirted in The Blessington Carriage. And husband, for that matter.
In a ten minute radius we also have my mum and dad, my in-laws, my sister, and Hana's cousins. Our wider family is spread round the globe and that only reinforces the precious nature of our core gang. Being able to jump in my car and go to see every person I love is far more valuable to me than anything any exotic location can offer.
2. My friends
I've got a mate with a matching tattoo with who I've also co-presented at ResearchEd. I've got mates with which I can discuss the passive aggressive discourse between Mummy and Daddy Pig before dancing to Hole's 'Live Through This'. I've also got mates I don't see anywhere enough of (Shirsten, I'm looking at you). And I've got mates in Japan I miss more keenly every year older our daughters get.
There is nothing more restorative than time spent with people you can be 100% yourself - warts and all.
3. My career
I am immeasurably grateful to work in schools. There is absolute joy to be found working with young people. Teaching is also fascinating. An intellectual challenge. And something that, for most of the time, feels like an achievable challenge. That it also pays my bills I consider a serious blessing.
3 wishes for 2023
1. House
OK, so where we live wasn't our first choice. Or even our second. By the time we came to stand in front of the stained glass front door and look up at its red brick we were seriously burned by missing out on two other properties. The rose tinted specs helped us to overlook some pretty serious defects. It had been badly neglected for many years as a couple's long marriage crumbled in line with the overgrown conifers and peeling paint. It's left us - two horribly impractical and busy millenials - with too much work to do and to little money to do it. We've already attempted a move but I'm unsure how that'll pan out. My wish is that we do our current pad proud or pass it on to someone else who can.
2. Make Teaching and learning at my school exciting!
I've been biding my time this year. Listen. Listen. Learn. Wait. But the time will soon come when I can start to share some of the things that fire my soul - cog sci, ResearchEd, evidence-informed practice. I hope I can do justice to the 'why', provide clarity about the 'what', and maintain teacher autonomy around the 'how'.
3. Decide what my 40s are going to look like
With birthdays just a few days apart, Chloe and I have had an Ibiza trip planned for many years so the festivities themselvwa should be a doddle. What's clear is what I look like as a 40 year old. And I don't mean physically - to be clear, I'll settle for Naomi Watts in The Watcher or wrestling personality Renee Paquette - I mean, in terms of envisaging the next ten years as a school leader, mum, and whole woman. If vision is crucial for leadership then I reckon it's at least equally important for being happy in life. I don't yet have this older 'me' fully formed and it'd be nice to have some idea what it looks like.
So, once more into a new year we go. May yours be as full of potential and optimism as mine is shaping up to be.
